Before you get the wrong idea, no we’re not getting a divorce and no she isn’t physically leaving me. But I am, bit by bit losing her. Her mother died of Alzheimer’s disease when she was in her 80s. I’m not sure if that’s what’s happening to Kathryn, but it could be.
Next month we’ll be married 48 years and we’re both in our 70s. She is three years older than me. When I first noticed her obvious short-term memory loss, I was very much alarmed. I was also in great pain because I wasn’t sure how I could live without her. I guess I’ve kinda gotten used to it now, I take it in stride most of the time when she asks me questions about things I’m certain she already knows but it still hurts when I think about how very sharp her mind was.
For the most part, she still goes about her daily chores around the house. We are both retired. We go to church and church social functions. No one but our two grown children are aware of it. both of them and their families live within five minutes of us. If anyone else knows it, they haven’t said anything.
It just seems strange, I still have her with me, yet I know she is slipping away. How much longer will she last? That’s the really hard part, no one can tell me. I talked to a doctor about it and the doctor said there are medicines that will slow it down, but there is no cure.
I always thought I would be the first to go. I have survived three heart attacks and open heart surgery. My heart only functions at about 20 percent and I’m not physically capable of doing very much so I’m lucky to still be around. My mind is still quite capable of doing everything. The body is just shot to hell. I guess I am hoping I will be the first to go. I don’t want to be around if she goes to that same place her mother did.