Who Cares?


 

Unusual to find any jokes these days, everyone is too serious.

At  the VFW one night minding my own business when this FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kinda cute. You gotta phone number?”

I said, “Yeah, . . .  you gotta pen?”

She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.

I said, “Then you’d better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”

When you’re seventy……………who cares?

**********

The next day, I went to the drug store and told the clerk “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”

Lady Clerk:  “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”

I said “Nah… She’s purty good  lookin’…..”

When you’re seventy…………..who cares?

***********

Last night, I went back to the VFW hall and was talking to a young woman who had wandered in.

She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

Cost me a fat lip, but…

When you’re seventy……………who cares?

**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.

“Really” she said, “Go on then… try.”

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?”

I said, “Yesterday.”

Cost me a kick in the —–, but…

When you’re seventy……………who cares?

*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

When you’re seventy……………who cares?

**********

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

I said, “Good legs.”

The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”

I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”

When you’re seventy……………who cares?

 

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About Jim G.

I truely believe that what should matter most in life is how you see yourself, not how someone else tries to convince you to see yourself. *****Life is not about "finding yourself"*****its about creating yourself.!!!!! I write and post things here because I like to think I am contributing some things of value to my world. Some times a little humor, some times things with a more serious tone, but hopefully always in good taste. If what I post occasionally bites a politician in the ass, all the better :>)
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One Response to Who Cares?

  1. Mitchy says:

    Omg! Rotfl. This is just the sort of post inspiration I needed, to start my day. Thank you so much. Lol.

    Like

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