A Grand Sense Of Humor


We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.
Sign over a Gynaecologist’s Office:  
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”;
In a Podiatrist’s office:  
“Time wounds all heels.”;
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels
At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for,
You’ve come to the right place.”;
On a Plumber’s truck :
“We repair what your husband fixed.”;
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”;
At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :
“Invite us to your next blowout.”;
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”;
In a Non-smoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”;
On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”;
At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”;
Outside a Muffler Shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”;
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”;
At the Electric Company:
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”;
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”;
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”;
At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank Heaven for little grills.”;
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”;
And the best one for last…;
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises

About J. D. Groover

I truely believe that what should matter most in life is how you see yourself, not how someone else tries to convince you to see yourself. *****Life is not about "finding yourself"*****its about creating yourself.!!!!! I write and post things here because I like to think I am contributing some things of value to my world. Some times a little humor, some times things with a more serious tone, but hopefully always in good taste. If what I post occasionally bites a politician in the ass, all the better :>)
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