Monthly Archives: February 2015

Beheadings…..


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Seniors: Hints on how to liven up your idle hours . . .


  To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity: 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.  Watch ’em slow down. 2. On all your check stubs, write ‘For Marijuana. 3. Skip down the street, rather than … Continue reading

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How I lost my teeth


I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer (a girl) came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt. She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving … Continue reading

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Norwegian Icebreaker


Norwegian Icebreaker heads up the Mississippi River As you may have seen on the news it’s been very cold in Minnesota … So cold, in fact, that the City Government has borrowed a Norwegian Icebreaker to clear the Mississippi River … Continue reading

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I Miss Bill Clinton


It doesn’t matter what party you belong to – this is hilarious. From a show on Canadian TV, where a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton. “Yep, that’s right – I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing … Continue reading

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Give A Man A Fish….


Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a life time. 2015 Version: Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone, free internet, cash for his clunker, food … Continue reading

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Hot Coffee


Gotta love those grand-kids … I was eating breakfast with my  10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, What day is tomorrow?” Without skipping a beat she said, “It’s Presidents Day!” She’s smart, so I asked her “What does Presidents Day … Continue reading

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A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST


IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE! PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING.  IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU’LL … Continue reading

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A Country Founded By Geniuses But Run By Idiots


If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally, you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses, but is run by idiots.   If … Continue reading

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38 CALIBER CIRCUMCISION


PURGING THE BREEDING POOL . Click here: 38 CALIBER CIRCUMCISION

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YOU A PILOT?


You think you have lived to be 80 plus and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell! An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket … Continue reading

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Life….


This is perhaps the most profound philosophy I have heard in recent times: “Life is like a penis – simple, relaxed and hanging free . . . It’s the women who make it hard.

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Rye Bread


Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just  finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of  breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy’s stamina and asked … Continue reading

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Don’t ask a question unless you really want the answer.


Oliver North was asked why he thought Obama, Biden, Kerry or Holder didn’t attend the unity rally in Paris. He said, “because it was for world leaders”.

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The Shoe Bomber


Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge’s … Continue reading

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