How Do Court Recorders Keep Straight Faces 2


ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral…

_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No..

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law in this very courtroom.

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About J. D. Groover

I truely believe that what should matter most in life is how you see yourself, not how someone else tries to convince you to see yourself. *****Life is not about "finding yourself"*****its about creating yourself.!!!!! I write and post things here because I like to think I am contributing some things of value to my world. Some times a little humor, some times things with a more serious tone, but hopefully always in good taste. If what I post occasionally bites a politician in the ass, all the better :>)
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1 Response to How Do Court Recorders Keep Straight Faces 2

  1. richardmax22 says:

    Loved it!! I have served on jury duty twice, and have heard question asked my the “court appointed” attorney that was on about the same level.

    Like

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