How come?


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IT’S JUST A JOKE….


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This brings back memories


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The Clinton Body Bags


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Who Is Holy?


 

I’ve written quite a lengthy discourse on this subject because it is somewhat complex and no doubt controversial. I understand that this may very well draw some criticism and righteous indignation from some readers, particularly those who consider themselves to be “holy” people. I welcome it. 

To give you a little background information on my experience, I grew up in the Baptist church; it was my mother’ choice. Although he never formally joined the Catholic Church, my father favored it, so I attended services there also at irregular intervals. Midnight mass at Christmas was one of my favorite memories.  If you go to a mass in a Catholic Church, you really feel like you’ve been to church. Not so much in other denominations.  I’ve been a member of the Methodist church for the last 40 years, because it is my wife’s preferred denomination.  I have also had some exposure to what is called the Holiness Denomination.  You could say I have a pretty well rounded experience in the protestant faith.

The college I attended required everyone to take at least two courses in religion regardless of what your major was. I opted for Christian Ethics and World Religion classes. I was most interested in the World Religion course even though it was “team” taught in a huge auditorium that held several hundred students.  It could have been called World Comparative Religion, but with the class size and the amount of subject matter to be covered, there actually wasn’t enough time to do any in-depth study of the different religions.

Over the last forty years or so, I have looked at the various world religions, other than my own, and have noted some interesting similarities across the board. There are approximately 92 major world religions that are typically subdivided into 270 related religions.  Some people count atheism and agnosticism as religions, but I don’t. As far as I am concerned those people are just simply justifying their belief that they themselves are alpha and omega in the natural order of the universe and to them there is no greater being.  

An Agnostic justifies his or her lack of faith based on the idea that it is not possible to know if god exists, or that the answer may, in principle be discovered some day, but is not known now. An atheist simply thinks that God does not exist or that there cannot be any form of an omnipotent creator. So since neither of them have any real religious belief system, I don’t count them as religions. I’ll just leave that to those who do.

Is there really a God? I am quite convinced that indeed there is. Not because some priest, pastor or preacher standing in a raised pulpit, in flowing robes, thunders out what God expects of me threatening hell fire and damnation if I don’t do what he says. No, I am not that easily moved.

I know God is real because at least four times God has intervened in my life in ways that can only be attributed to a supreme being. Some people might say these interventions were ‘miracles.’ I wouldn’t say that because I know that all things are possible for God. In earlier years, I felt the need to convince other people that these ‘miracles’ happened. No one believed me. Even so-called men of the cloth poo pooed the idea of what I knew to be true. They said there had to be another, more reasonable explanation. I found peace in a small voice that came to me saying that I should not be troubled, what had happened was a message for me, not them.

Organized religions gives societies a platform on which they can create rules of conduct and at least a semblance of a structure to acknowledge the existence of God.  Go to almost any Christian church and you will hear the words “worship” and “praise” repeated over and over again in reference to God. The words, “honor” and “serve” almost never come up. I suppose the churches were built so that believers could come together to “worship” and “praise” God, not to honor and serve him. 

That has always kind of irked me. Why would God, an omnipotent being, create tiny little creatures in his vast universe to worship and praise him? That would be like humans creating germs sized creatures to worship and praise us. To what end? To feed our egos? Does God have an ego that needs to be catered to?  I just can’t wrap my brain around that one. I do not believe the God that I know is that small minded only we human beings think like that.

If you exam the 92 major world religions, you’ll find that they almost all (note I did not say all) subscribe to, and promulgate, the theory that there is an afterlife.  Whether that afterlife is a good, rewarding experience, or a bad, punishing experience will be the result of how well one has observed and adhered to the principles as dictated by a particular religion in this life. Simply stated, follow the rules and you will be rewarded, fail to do so and you will be punished in the afterlife. That is pretty much universal across the religious spectrum.     

Wait…that sounds like they mean to assert control of their followers doesn’t it? Essentially it means follow their rules or else. That’s pretty much the same demand from one want-to-be or another throughout human social history. We’ll discuss that further another time.

Another common feature of the religions of the world is that they have written instructions, i.e. bibles, Korans, etc., that provide guidance as to how their followers are to conduct themselves, as well as examples of the history of the religion. The more primitive religions rely on word of mouth passed down from one generation to the next.  

There are many issues that no organized religion dares to attempt to address. The world is populated by some seven billion people. Only one third subscribes to one version of the Christian faith, yet the Christian faith and its practitioners believe and preach that anyone outside their faith is doomed because of their belief. This self-serving belief, of course, implies that God does not love two thirds of the people of the world he created.   

If that wasn’t so stupid, it would almost be laughable.  No segment of humanity has ever had the capability of defining and limiting God’s capability. These “Holy” men can put on their robes and funny hats and believe they have set themselves above the rest of the people. They can grow beards or side burns and the women can cover their face and think themselves to be “Holy.” None of this grants them “ownership” of God and the capability to define or limit him. It’s just human stupidity trying to understand what they are not capable of understanding.    

No one but God is Holy

J. D. Groover

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Monica’s Ex-Boy Friend…


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Just SEX!!!


1. When I was born, I was given a choice – a big pecker or a good memory…. I don’t remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings…”

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.

6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What’s an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don’t have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!

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